Monday, March 22, 2010

Love and Timing...


This weekend I talked to two girlfriends who have both been screwed over by the guys they were dating. What's interesting is they both had nearly identical stories. They both are beautiful, intelligent, independent women who fell for men who seemed to have it all together. After a few months when things got a bit more serious the men fell off the face of the earth. Never to be heard from again. As women, we are stumped by this. Why put so much time and effort into building a relationship only to bolt out the door when it starts to become real? And yes, we've all read He's Just Not That Into You and Why Men Love Bitches

Here's my take on it; I think it all comes down to timing. I talked to Ian about his experiences and he sure had some bolt out the door moments with girls he dated in the past. When we started dating he was ready for a relationship and so was I. There were months of compatibility tests between us. Little daily tests we didn't even know we were taking. We passed more than we failed and that allowed us to fall in love.

Why didn't it work out with the guys I dated in the past?  For whatever reason, things just didn't add up. And, yes, it sucked at the time. I felt how my girlfriends feel now. Confused that something was wrong with me, confused by my constant relationship failures. (WARNING SAPPY ALERT) Then I met Ian and suddenly I was so thankful all those relationships failed. I feel like all my past relationships (as much as I regret some) were part of my growth. They contributed to the person I was the day I met Ian and helped me realize what I could tolerate in a relationship and what I couldn't. It all came together because the timing was right. We had both been through enough to realize what we had found in each other and we both knew we didn't want to let it go.

So my advice to my girlfriends is to try and be thankful when these guys head out the door. That action alone proves that they weren't right for you. Be thankful that it didn't take you years to figure this out. They have freed you up to find someone who is right.

In the meantime, I will totally indulge in that tub of ice cream and chocolate chip cookies with you.

{photo: we heart it}

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful words and moving photo. You have it going on sister!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So funny I had a VERY similar convo with a few of my gfs recently. So SO very true!

    ReplyDelete

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